You are not marrying a walk in the park

When we find a person that we love and want to spend the rest of eternity with, sometimes we forget that we are also marrying issues, baggage, and a person who has different opinions, ideas, and habits than yourself. We all grow up with different backgrounds. Our parents taught us different things or we were immersed in different trials. Coming to the conclusion, we are all different. Even if you marry your best friend, someone that you have a lot in common with, there will still be differences in how you live, cope, and deal with different situations.

In John M. Gottman’s Book, The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work, Gottman talks about there are two different types of problems that come up in a marriage. There are solvable problems that the couple can actually solve and move on. Then there are perpetual problems that will last your entire marriage. Sadly he stated that 69% of marital problems are actually perpetual problems that you and your spouse will continue to fight about for your entire marriage. But don’t let this scare you!

Just because there are problems or continued problems doesn’t mean that a marriage is unsatisfied. Actually the happiest of marriages have these perpetual problems, they just have noted the problem, learned how to deal or approach the problem, and mindful of the problem. The main thing you need to do is to make sure that you always listen and be mindful of not just your feelings but also your spouses as well.A marriage was never meant to be easy, but you are a team now. Be mindful of them just like you want them to be mindful of you