Cleave Unto Your Spouse

So many times in a new marriage, creating a balance of your relationship with your family and in laws can be tough. You grew up in one family and now you are connected to two families, with different schedules, holiday gatherings and traditions and so on. To add to that, a lot of spouses come from divorced families, creating an even more hectic dynamic. Trying to establish your marriage and your relationships with the extended family can be difficult. Sometimes, it could seem like it is a matter of life and death.

In James M. Harper and Susanne Frost Olsen’s Creating Healthy Ties with In-laws and Extended Families they stated, “Elder Ashton reminded us that in cleaving to a spouse, married children should be faithful and supportive to their spouses, but not forget their parent” (pg 327). With that said they strongly urged to remember that you are now married. Your spouse is your partner and you need to make life, family and marital decisions with your spouse and not your parents. Parents can urge you or try to control your decisions in children, jobs and so forth by trying to still have a handle on your life. You need to separate from that while not distancing yourself completely with your family. This can be extremely difficult for a wife or husband who is particularly close with a mother or father. You have to find a balance and establish boundaries to better create a strong marital foundation with you and your husband.

You want to have the most successful and happy marriage that you can. You must realize that for that to work, it's no longer just about you and your family. It is now you and your husband and everything he is bringing to the table. That mean's his past, hist traditions and his family. It will be a important key, to take the time to talk with your husband and learn to think about them to find a common ground.