The Problem With Soul Mates

       In this day and age, there are a lot of issues when it comes to the idea of marriage. People believe that divorce is inevitable, that young marriages will never last and that if you save yourself for marriage and don’t live with the person first, the marriage will be ultimately doomed. Why does society see marriage this way? It is almost like marriage has been devalued and chopped down to just a contract on paper that is for a short term pleasure, not an eternal covenant between two people who want to love and cherish each other for the rest of eternity.

       So what is one of the reasons that divorce is becoming such a normal thing in society? Personally, I would say it is the problem with the Soul Mate Quest. At a young age children read and watch fairy tales with princes and princesses. Of finding the one person who is meant to be with them. The idea that fate and destiny will bring us to the one person that we are suppose to end up with, poisons the mind into believe that there is only one person, in this world, that will make us truly happy. Even though, it is a nice idea that there is a person perfect and already predestined for you, it just isn’t true.

      At least in the LDS culture, we believe in finding our eternal companion. The point to emphasize on, is that it is our choice on who are companion is. Truthfully there are many people who are existing and living on this planet, that you can be happy with. That you could laugh hard with, love deeply, and grow together with, to become a truly blissful companionship. Even if you believe that there is someone out there who is one in a million, the worlds population is 7.2 billion people, meaning there are over 7,000 people out there that could be one in a million. My point being, that there is not just one good person out there for you to marry, there are many.

       In saying this, there are people out there that are better for you than others. Although, I believe that two genuinely good people, with a foundation of god and his gospel, who share similar goals, can make a marriage work. They both have to be willing to work at it every day and fight through the mountains that will come, and they can succeed. However, there are individuals out there that a person can and will have a deeper connection with, feel more intimate or closer to and some people will just make us happier than others.

       Now with all this said, I move into why the idea of soulmates is poisoning the minds of this world. If you believe that there is only one person out there that you are meant to be with, that marriage and being together will just fall into place, you are dooming yourself right then and there. I say this, because, if you marry someone, thinking they are your soul mate and a huge trial comes along, you two might start fighting every day. You might stop holding hands, kissing or laughing as much as you use to and you may think the flame has died. It is so easy to think to yourself, this person isn’t my soul mate, that it shouldn’t be this hard, and I picked the wrong person and my actual soulmate is out there somewhere and BOOM you just bought a first class flight straight towards divorce. When honestly, if you both just would have put in the effort and time your marriage, it could have been saved.

       The idea of soulmates is like a little seed, in the back of our minds, that is just waiting to explode on us. Leaving us to make rash decisions that could ultimately take us straight down the path to unneeded pain, regret and depression. Marriage is suppose to be a magnificent beautiful thing. But we forget that it is the work that we put into it that give it the value, not some invisible force of fate. If we start realizing that it is purely our choice, actions and dedication that makes or breaks our marriage, instead of destiny and soul mates, a lot more of us could lead fuller lives with a person that will makes them happy.